The Customer Is Always Right, But Boy Sometimes You Want To Slap Them
The majority of our enquiries come through our various website’s. We are happy for potential clients to ring us, but email is easier, as when they put all the details down we can work out a price and get a quote to them quickly and efficiently.
But sometimes you get some clients contact you, and you end up thinking “I just don’t need their money this badly”.
A couple stick in mind. The first an enquiry from a lady who wanted to potentially hire a Flying Frogs Ride. The initial enquiry was as follows on our website;
Name Jane Doe (not really but we are keeping her details anonomous)
Telephone No 01234 567890
Date Of Event 1st June 2012
Requirements I would like to hire a jumping frogs ride.
Venue My House
Now, most of the details are here. But, to give an accurate price, I need to work out where our equipment is going to. The venue of my house narrows it down to approximately 25 million possibilities. However she could be in Europe or anywhere.
I emailed back to tell her I needed her to be more specific about where the event was taking place. Her answer;
In a field at the bottom of the drive outside my house.
That is I suppose more specific, but of no real help. So I politely emailed back to her, informing her that as I didn’t know her personally I had no idea where her house was, and could she enlighten me.
Next Door To My Mams!
At that point I gave up.
The second was a guy who rang to hire a burger van. Now, because of the amount of people who wanted to hire an empty catering unit for their own use, we actually used to have it state on our contact page that we don’t hire empty units out for anyone else to use.
The phone conversation went like this.
Caller “Hello, I know you don’t hire empty burger vans out for other people to use, but could you give me a price on an empty burger van?”
Me “Sprichst du Deutsch?”
Caller “You what”
Me ” Et le Francais?”
Caller “I dont understand”
Me “misschien ben je nederlands?”
Caller “Listen mate why are you speaking foreign languages to me?”
Me “Because I am trying to figure out what language you speak”
Caller “Well I speak English don’t I”
Me “Do you, so what part of we don’t hire empty burger vans out for people to use are you struggling with?”
Caller “Well I just thought you might hire one out to me!”
Me “Oh I do apologise, I didn’t realise you were the Duke of Kent”
Caller “Eh, I’m not am I”
Me “Well in that case we can’t help you.”
Now when they ring up for something similar I find it easier to give them a hire price, then inform them that there is a £35,000 cash deposit required to cover damage. That usually shuts the combination down pretty quickly.